The New Girl

So i began training at the Cowgirl and it is quite a place. I did my three training sessions Friday and Saturday nights and then Sunday brunch. Today at 4:30 I have my first real shift. I am pretty nervous but also excited. I have learned an insane amount in the past few days. it was nice to have yesterday off to sleep and soak it up a little bit. I know im gonna make helllllllla mistakes but i also hope that i will maybe not fuck up too hard.

The people who work there are such characters. My first night i trained with this girl named Jess (short for jessamyn) who was totally sweet. i think shes from jersey or california maybe but she went to B.U. so she seems very East Coast-y. Shes friends with this other girl named Dee who is really cool. She is writing a novel and came out to Santa Fe to be a waitress because one of the characters in her book is a waitress in the Southwest and she wanted to know what it was like firsthand so that the character would have more depth. Weirdly this girl Jess is best friends with this woman from Oberlin named Nancy Boutelier who i know through rugby stuff because shes a very political lesbian interested in gender and women's studies shit. She spent a lot of time with Alia making the first rugby calendar happen. That was a random connection. My second night i trained with this RIDICULOUS girl named Nicole who looks like a cartoon cowgirl with boots and died red hair and freckles and flared jeans. She is just a crazy spitfire who had like 4 margaritas during our shift. On sunday brunch i trained with this guy named Brian who was also fun. He's short and bald and very funny. He totally let me take over his whole section while he worked a party in the other room which was terrifying at first but then felt sweet. Together we made about $1400 in sales which is fucking ridiculous. I havent been getting paid yet because I'm just training but Brian tipped me out like $50 and hopefully tonight i will rake it in. There's another guy named Brian who is only 20 and a cutie, i like him. Theres a guy named Johnny who has long blonde hair and a blonde beard and he is nice and cute too. The nighttime manager who hired me is named Stephanie and she's a total trip. Shes kindof a hard ass and will yell at you just to get it off her chest but shes a good person and doesnt hold grudges, which i appreciate. i think its easier to handle aggression than passive aggression anyway...

the first night when i showed up it turned out that there was a beach party theme for the evening since a surf rock band was playing and there were going to be fire dancers. i didnt know about this ahead of time so i had to borrow a shirt from Stephanie who is basically the opposite body type of me. Shes short and sortof voluptuous and i looked RETARDED in this 70's polyester vintage hawaiin print shirt. AND cowboy hat. ha.

So yeah, the cowgirl has pretty much been my life for the past few days. I hung out with Claire and met her boyfriend's roommates and we all watched a movie (Thank You For Not Smoking) one night which was nice. Its cool to be around chill boys like that because otherwise i think i would basically have my social time be split between Max and Lesbians.

It's still really hard to hang out, and of course i couldnt really chill this weekend because i was working the whole time but people have been reaching out which is nice. i had a drink at this blues bar with Katy and a bunch of the Aztec girls on Saturday after work, but i was feeling kindof depressed because they were all talking about going to Acrobatics class and doing circus stuff and performing arts and i was thinking "wow. am i ever going to make friends here???" Antoinette invited me to Karaoke last night but i was tooooooo burnt out on everything to muster the kind of courage required to take up an invitation like that.

There are these little baby mice that keep running around Max's house that are freaking me out. Other than that, the place is looking really good because Max's parents were here this weekend and bought a bunch of shit like tables and lamps and a bed for max so now there's a couch in the living room. I am still keeping my ears and eyes out for another place to live but i am not throwing myself into the search until i have the $$$$ to throw down for rent. Also, i would like to live in a place with roommates who are cool and that kind of thing is so chancy, its nice that i dont have to rush it. Max is intense but lately it has been nice having a friend around. i think it helps that we are seeing about 2,000 percent less of each other since the job fell through. i dont know what exactly his plan is for a job. he has been dealing with parents and then errands like getting internet and a new car and then i think his plan is to get some fine dining restaurant job and/or try and secure some design work. i feel lucky to have a job right now. and it is scary and challenging and new and stuff but it makes me feel like i am somewhere, doing something, even if its not AT ALL what i expected.

tomorrow i have to go to some weird hotel and take a New Mexico Approved Alcohol Server class from 10am - 3pm. i have no idea what that will be like. The alcohol laws are realllllly strict here though. It's a felony to serve someone with an expired Driver's License. That's insane.

On saturday i randomly found the only comic book shop in Santa Fe and am planning on putting together some work to put there on consignment which will be sweet.

Also, my uncle Jarratt is putting me in touch with this woman who runs the Center for Contemporary Art in Santa Fe which will be a cool person to know. I would love to do some work for her, voluntary or whatever, just to get involved in the art scene here.

So yeah, things are ok. I've been a little sad and lonely but i know thats to be expected. usually i cant wallow for too long because i am either too exhausted or it's time for work. I want to learn more about myself and who i am and why i am here and what i want and what i need, but i am trying to do that in a healthy way - looking forward and being productive, instead of looking backwards and driving myself crazy with questions and guilt and indecision. I know its important to deal with one's past, but i also believe that right now i need to live in the moment. I mean, shit, I'm here so I might as well own it.